N+A=10years

nick and i starting dating june 28, 1994. we were sophomores in high school. we've been a couple for over 17 years, more than 1/2 our lifes. natalie likes to say "we've been together longer than we've been apart"....which is true. tomorrow is September 22, our 10 year wedding anniversary!!! while we knew this anniversary was coming up, it defiantly got away from us with our busy, crazy life going on. it was this morning in the car that i realized it was tomorrow.....holy cow!!!! how did that happen??? so i wanted to take this time to brag about my wonderful husband, nick hughes. i don't know where i'd be without him. he is the best. he tells me often that "he's happy as long as i'm happy". often enough that i know he really means it. tues-thurs nights he's at home with the kids while i'm at work, getting them home from school, making dinner, doing homework, giving bathes and all owens medical stuff all by himself. next month is his 15 year anniversary with QuikTrip. QT is the best company, they have supported him not only professionally but personally and even more so since the day owen was born. he tries his hardest to do home improvements. he's not the greatest or quickest at it. we almost have a fence up after it first being started over a year ago(not that our last year hasn't been busy). but he tries. :-) he's not afraid to admit to me why it's been so hard to finish the fence. he's sad my dad isn't here to help him and tell him how proud he is of him. he also cried at my dads death and helped carrying him to his final resting place. right after learning of his death, with no question asked he went to get my little sister having to break the news to her and hold her has she almost fainted and cried. he brings up every now again the thought of us having another baby. he gets baby fever more than i do. he watches "good luck charlie" with livi and enjoys it. he also watches toy story 3 at least once a day with noah. he helps me shop for my clothes. he's a loyal chiefs and royals fan. he does must of the laundry around our house. he tries to make time for me to scrapbook. he sometimes changes the scentsy warmers at our house. he would love to have a truck but settles for his car because smaller payment and better gas mileage. he doesn't always remember my b-day but he's getting better. it's not that he doesn't remember it he just doesn't remember to tell me happy b-day the first time he talks to me that day. :-) he drinks soy milk because our kids do. he let a dr he'd only met once cut him open and remove a piece of him to better our sons life. he doesn't like it to be called his kidney. shortly after the swap he told me "i'd give owen my other kidney or my heart if needed it" and i believe him because that's the reality of our life. every parent would do anything for their kids, nick brings that to another level. he's so much more then all that, he's my best friend!!! i don't know where i'd be without him and i don't want to know. i love him more then anything!!!! he is amazing.

back home x2

so it goes a little something like this......owen was discharged from children's mercy on monday sept. 12th after being there for a whole month. tuesday we tried to get back to our normal life. owen went to work with me because he can't start school for at least two more weeks. wednesday we had to have owen in the kidney center from 8:30qm-1:30pm to have some blood test done. then on thursday we were trying again to have a normal life with owen at work with me. owen is still on a very bland diet. he is being such trooper about it, making it very easy for me to strictly stick to it. so right around lunch time on thursday he started crying, gaging, tossing and kicking saying that his belly hurt. he couldn't sit still and was sweating like crazy. after a few minutes of trying to comfort him and i decided to take him to the ER at children's mercy. his pain continued on there for 15-20 minutes. then when they were coming back in to give him a pain med he calms down and says "it's gone, im better now". blood test, urine test and x-rays didn't show any thing wrong that would be causing that kind of pain. while in pain he was screaming "somethings happening to me, it's getting bigger". the dr's think he was having a stomach spasm. being that his stomach is broken down so much by the infection they weren't surprised. since the pain stopped nick and i were hoping that we would just get to go home. owens dr's in the kidney center wanted to keep owen there over night just in case it happened again. so owen and i stayed there last night. then on friday (today) owen was discharged from children's mercy again. the pain never happened again....yay!!! so not really a good trying to get back to our normal life week. i'm beginning to feel like it will never be normal again or maybe i should just expect this to be our new normal. owen is being great with the new diet. which has brought on a new guilt in me, i feel guilty for being able to eat whatever i want. going 21 days without food has diffidently made him able to appreciate any food....even if it is bland. tonite at dinner i just about cried. the only thing on his small menu that sounded good to him was toast with butter. the rest of us were eating lasagna made for us by a great friend. a few minutes into the meal owen says "well, is it good?" my eyes teared up and it was good. how could i tell him that but i can't lie to him. so i said "it's pretty good buddy, im so sorry you can't have any" and he says "it's ok, i'll get to eat that when i'm not sick anymore" :-( he is just so amazing!!!! so tonite we are all sleeping at home again. i get to kiss all my babes good night and that's almost all it takes to keep me happy these days....

cute thing owen said this week....owen:i want to be a chef when i grow up....me:that sounds good.....owen:what are you going to be when you grow up?....me:i don't know but i'll let you know when i figure it out :-)

just owen

i keeping getting asked "how do you do it" and i never know how to answer it because you just do it. tonite after being asked that question by his nurse it had me thinking "how do you NOT do it" really....how could i not do it???? how would owen survive if i just said "im not doing it this time" and just stayed at home carrying on like nothing was wrong. it's because of owen that i do whatever needs to be done to keep him here. any parent, grandparent, aunt, etc would do the same for the kids that they love. with that being said i defiantly dont do it alone....i have the best husband, family and friends a girl could ask for. without them i couldnt do it!!! it would be so easy to just give up, and there are moments that make me want to, like...wednesday night i was taking liv back to the house after dance class and went in to say bye to nick and noah before going back to stay the night with owen. and i said "okay i gotta go" noah said "no momma go bye-bye" i said "sorry buddy i gotta go" he says again "no momma go bye-bye" so i said "i gotta go back to owen at the hospital" and noah goes "oh owen dr. okay bye-bye" and planted a big kiss on me :-) at that moment i also realized how great liv and noah are and how much even a 2 year old can pick up on the dynamic of our special family. i totally wouldnt be able to do it if liv and noah weren't so great, sweet, understanding and forgiving. thanks everyone for all help, i couldnt do it without you!!! as of tomorrow sept 12th, owen will have been here for one month. the word in halls at children's mercy is that he gets to go home tomorrow!!!! i've got my fingers crossed that it will happen. our lifes wont just go back to normal once we get home. im not sure when he will get to start school. his stomach and intestines still havent healed themselves from the infection so his is on a very, very, very bland diet. no sugar, no lactose and no pepper or spices. they also have him drinking pediasure to keep up on calories. i hope to find out tomorrow how long we have to wait to reschedule the surgery on his leg.....you know, because i want to spend more time in this hospital :-/

they unhooked owen from all the iv's and tubes yesterday. and when they did he said all excited "mom they took off all my tubes" then i said "yay, youre just plain old owen now" so today as he was freely able to move all around the room he kept saying things like "look mom i can lay in your bed because im just owen now" :-)

"just owen" was also able to a bath for the first time in 4 weeks. they give me these warm bath wipes to clean him every day but his hair hadn't been cleaned since he got here. :-/ but thats all better now!!!!
noah and owen playing with aunt nat nats ipad. wednesday morning nat came to the hospital to relieve nick for work at 5:30am. she usually just tip toes in and falls asleep till owen wakes up because nursing are messing with him around 7am. but this wednesday she comes in and owen is completely under the covers and she notices they are moving. so she says "owen what are you doing?" owen says wide awake "im hiding from you" so needless to say natalie did not get to go back to sleep and played games and movies with owen on her ipad till i got there. isn't she the best aunt ever!!!!!!

real food!!!!

we've spent labor day weekend hanging out with owen at the hospital. friday night nick parents hung out with owen for a little bit while nick and i took liv and noah to santa-cali-gon. it was fun hanging with those two but hard to not have owen with us. liv and noah went to the lake with nick's family for these last two nights. livi is still having a hard time missing us, but i know she is having fun. we miss them both so much, its all we've talked about this weekend. last night my mom sat with owen for a bit while nick and i went and did some x-mas shopping. :-) the best thing that has happened this weekend is that today owen got to EAT REAL FOOD!!!!!! this morning the dr.s came in and said that his stool was still down low enough that they were going to let him try solid foods!!!!! it's been 21 days. he was beyond excited!!!!!! it give me and nick hope that we might be able to go home this upcoming week. don't hold me to that....i said hope :-)he is on a soft and bland diet. there is still plenty for him to choose from. for his 1st meal in 21 days he picked a pancake with butter, no syrup, scrambled egg and apple juice. and he loved it!!!!

so far so good with him eating solids. he hasn't complained of any stomach pains. seeing how his stools are tomorrow will be the true test to how his body is handling this. today was the first day that nick and i didn't feel guilty when we were eating.

earlier this week i took liv to the selena gomez concert. we had bought the tickets before owen went into the hospital but the timing was perfect. gave me and her some perfect mommy and me time. made liv feel so special and loved. i had the best time with her.

i know that someday this will all be behind us and we will look back and say what were we complaining about. right now i can't wait for that someday to be here. can't wait to cook dinner and sleep at home with all 3 of my kids and nick there. can't wait to take this orange hospital bracelet off my wrist. can't wait to see owen with pants on. tonite when i was tucking owen in his hospital bed he said "mommy i miss my bed at home, when do i get to sleep there again?" :-(

ants

tonight is owen's 18th night at children's mercy. not sure how many it is for me but it really doesn't matter if part of your heart is here. during the week nick and i are doing every other night so noah and liv can sleep at home. on the weekends our family helps with liv and noah....so grateful for our family. natalie and my mom are still being a big help relieving me and nick at the hospital. jill has helped us a few times too!!! thanks everybody!!! as far as owen goes he is starting to show signs of getting better. his stool output is slowing down...yay!!! if it can get to 420 mls or under they will start to introduce food back to his body. it was 2000 mls when we brought him here and was hanging around 1000-1500 mls for awhile. but saturday it went down to 750 mls, sunday 620 mls and today i think it will be around 500 mls. so maybe one more day then they will start to feed him. he isn't talking about food as much as he was last week but hasn't stopped completely. he did start another weird thing....licking his hands. :-/ over the weekend he was really really crabby. i finally told him i was going to leave if he couldn't talk nicer to me. i get that he is mad and frustrated. i was trying to keep quite and just let him take his anger out on me but i can only take so much. he was a lot nicer when he realized he could be here alone. nothing a little threatening won't cure.....except for a stomach virus :-)

o-dawg being silly with jill

pall...owen has been loving the book. the airplane page is his favorite because he can pretend to eat the fish crackers


jill brought pirate patches.....arrrrgh!!!!

noah had to get in on the pirate action too!!!

noah being silly sitting in the window sill playing in the blinds. last wednesday night they had to move us to a new room because there were ants in our room. they were by the window and the bed that i sleep on. on the 5th floor, how does that happen?!?! but it was ok, we've enjoyed the change!!!

honey mustard

we are still chilling at Children's Mercy. on friday owen was taken back off clears. which means he can't have anything by mouth. :-( poor little guy hasn't actually had a bite to eat anything besides jello since friday the 12th at home before we brought him here. his condition with the stomach/intestinal infection hasn't improved at all at this point. dr said that the antibiotic could take up to 14days to start working and he is on day 7. sounds like we won't be out of here anytime soon. not eating is really starting to mess with his head. he talks about food/eating in some way non-stop. he has his first meal when we leave planned down to every last crumb.....where we are going to buy it on the way home and how fast i have to make it. he's had it planned since saturday :-( he's been imagining that his potty seat is made of marshmallows. over the weekend he had his finger in his mouth and i told him to get it out and he said "i could eat it, my teeth are strong enough".....i'm pretty sure he was serious!!!! right now as i'm typing this he is sitting on the potty quizzing me on all my favorites.....breakfast, drink, dip, pasta shape...etc. poor little guy, i hope he gets better soon. i try to tell him let's talk about something else but then he gets sad because he wants to go home. to make matters worse right now liv has been sick :-( today she stayed at nicks parents house today with nicks grandma and looks like that will be the plan tomorrow. last night my mom and natalie took turns staying the night with owen so nick and i could both stay home with liv and noah. tonite nick is at home and his mom will come over at 5am when nick leaves for work to take care or liv and noah. thanks everyone for all the help!!!

owen and noah playing toy story match game. it was so sweet!!! these two have a mutual dislike for each other but i know deep down they really do love each other.

noah planking at the hospital!!!!......you like that nat and jill?!?!?

getting ready to take noah to his first day of pre-school at CCVI. he had to go without owen. my mom sat with owen while i took him.

such a big boy!!! he is going to CCVI on monday and wednesday for pre-school as a peer model. livi did this a few years ago. it is a great program. noah's teacher was also owen's first teacher. :-) i love CCVI!!!

toady owen's favorite child life specialist came and played with him. she brought this green ball that they bounced all around the room. he giggled so much it was healing to my soul!!!! he even got out of bed and stretched his legs. he hasn't really walked on them since we've been here so it was good to see him on two feet.

ps...owen just asked me if it is good or disgusting to put honey mustard on a hot dog? :-(

one week down

we are still hanging out children's mercy. we've been here 7 days today. owen isn't getting much better at this point. they have him on an antibiotic but since he is immune suppressed for the new kidney it can be a slow process getting rid of the virus. the virus he got ate away a layer of stomach which is making it impossible for it to absorb or breakdown anything that goes in. so everything comes out as quick as it went in. due to his immune system again it will take a bit for his stomach to rebuild that layer. on a good note he doesn't appear to be in any pain and seems to feel really good. he has some swore spot from sitting on the potty to much. but is being such a brave tropper like always. a few days ago when a new set of doctor came in they look at owen sitting on his potty seat playing with my ipad and said "that's owen? from his chart we expected to see a boy that looked green and was sick in bed. he looks great compared to his chart!!" they still have him on just clears and iv fluid, no real food yet. he seems to be ok with that for now. he has his moments when he sees a food commercial on tv and gets sad that he can't eat. :-( he's lost some weight so they are working on trying to get some food in him. nick and i with the help of our awesome family are running around from here, work and home. we've been taking turns staying the night with owen so one of us can stay at home with the liv and noah. liv had to sleep in her own bed for the start of 2nd grade. it's taking a lot of juggling and not really getting to see each other or all three kids everyday but we are doing it.

my pretty 2nd grader!!!!
owen loving the new toy story kerplunk game ya ya brought him. she comes and sit with him everyday for a few hours so i can go to work. thanks mom!!!

owen loves playing with aunt nat nats ipad. she has been coming at 5:30am to stay with owen after nick leaves for work at 5am. she stays till i get there at 9am after i take noah to the sitters and liv to school. i cant bear the thought of owen being here by himself even if he's just sleeping. thanks natalie!!!

this is the little cutie face i put to bed tonight. gosh i love him!!!!