The struggle is real

Im going to give this another go.  It's been almost 2 years since I've posted.  There have been lots of good things to write about, I really mean lots....birthdays, teeth lost, kc trips, beach trips, school awards, weddings, holidays, baseball games, new nephews and a 4th child!! I just couldn't bring myself to post about all these goods things knowing that I wasn't ready to post about how I was really feeling about struggling with Owens happiness.  I named this blog years ago "living for Owen" and here I found myself not sure what that meant or how to do it.  We had brought another perfectly healthy child into this world that I am to love, protect and make happy.  All while I'm struggling with my imperfectly healthy child already in this world that I love, protect but do not feel I make him happy.  Something changed in Owen after we moved to South Carolina.