he's just like him....

so fridays are a really hard day for me. it's the day after a week full of missed calls that i would call my dad back. he also passed on a thursday and every friday reminds me that i went one more week without him. everytime i talked to my dad he would ask me what was going on with owen's kidney and "the button". i have to admit that being asked this every time we talked annoyed me because nothing was ever really happening with it but now that things are i wish so much that i could call him that it sometimes is paralyzing to me. owen had his button removed in june and i couldn't even be happy about it because all i wanted to do was tell my dad. now i often think about owen and nick going into the operating room to do "the swap" and me sitting in the waiting room by myself and not being able to call him. so this last friday i was having a really really hard time because i was trying to start some planning for owen 5th b-day party. i want it to be amazing for him!!!! and in doing that i became so sad at the thought that my dad wasn't going to be there. he loved being owens grandpa. and he would be so fascinated by every single detail of the kidney swap, that it would probably annoy me ;-) , but that just who he was. and i really miss him. while i was having my pity party the boys were upstairs taking a nap. about an hour later i was up there doing laundry and i heard owen playing so i opened his door then continued doing laundry. owen came walking out of his room talking on a play phone. i asked him what he was doing and he put his little finger up at me and said "shhhh i'm on the phone" then in the phone he said "ok, wuv u" then he looked at me and said "that was my bapa, he said he's going to see yaya" bapa was my dad yaya is my mom....... i smiled at owen and then cried some more. owen never talks about my dad.

the pic is owen with his bapa when he was 1yr and 4months and bapa was donald duck.....